No marriage is perfect, no matter what people tell you. Several factors can create problems in a marriage, and some of them need more attention and professional help. We usually start to feel falling apart from each other, when problems come along. We look at our partner’s fault because it is much easier to turn the spotlight than to have it on you. Trust holds great importance in your marriage and helps keep the bond stronger. However, it requires some compromises and investments from both parties to build trust and maintain a healthy relationship. You can keep in mind that trust is not something that builds back in days, it takes time to build trust. Here are some steps you can take to fix your marital problems:
Suspecting the problems and taking responsibility for our actions is necessary. However, we often don’t choose this reaction most of the time. We lookout for the flaws in others before looking inside because it’s less threatening. It is much easier for any individual to pick out someone else’s shortcomings than to see ours. However, everyone should be human enough to not make others suffer for the things they haven’t done and finally take responsibility for the things they have done. Humanity is a delicate plant that needs to be cultivated carefully as it can bear good fruit. Chances are more than your spouse will respond with a soft heart when you come up humbly to them about an issue.
- Let go of things that don’t matter
For murdering any relationship or marriage- one thing is common that can dig the grave of marriage- the need to always be right. Only guilt and resentment give this enough power during an argument and fight. When someone wins an argument, the satisfaction of winning, feeling of moral victory is only short-lived. Your glory can turn into regret and guilt, in a matter of seconds. That is why being happy is more than being right all the time. You can always gloat about your victory and be happy for a matter of time, or you can fix your things with your partner, let your love win, and be happy always, the choice is yours. However, sometimes it is quite difficult to think straight and let off things that easily. Then, you can take help from a professional and if possible, take online Gottman Marriage Therapy sessions to learn how to be calm and composed during difficult times and stick together with your partner.
- Seal your exits
Couples facing marital issues are often focused everywhere else but on their marriage. It is very painful and it becomes essential to fix the issues to remain in a love bonded relationship. One of the essential steps to do is to seal your exits that will help you bring the energy back. Most of us keep ourselves busy in various activities and they have become our look of excitement and fulfillment in marriage. Though these activities are better than infidelity and substance abuse, if you are doing it to avoid spending time with your partner, then they just work as exits. These activities might be work, exercise, internet surfing, taking care of kids, and overreacting. Beware not to do it to avoid the problems and begin to put the energy where it needs to be and close those exits.
- Transcend your reactivity
Transcending your reactivity is one of the essential relationships for many reasons. Obviously, you don’t want to be a grown-up version of your child self. When we react, we usually operate from a place of our earlier wounds from childhood. You become an enormous adult when you free yourself from reactivity. It is daunting yet, highly essential. Another reason is strategic. We have been taught since our childhood that if we debate, we aim at winning only. Therefore, couples usually fight with one goal: to win. Instead, you should sit with your better half and communicate with each other about the issues. When your impulse is to fix things, you must listen to the other person as well.
- Love infusions
It is challenging to work on your relationship, but it is necessary. It becomes quite daunting when you are trying to rescue one in crisis. Therefore, it is important to infuse your relationship with loving behavior that promotes positive energy.
- Caring Behaviour: When we perform loving behavior for a spouse, we demonstrate care. It is essential to find out what makes them feel cared for or loved, as every individual is different.
- Date Nights: Take out your partner for a romantic dinner, or a weekend together, to enjoy each other’s company.
- Appreciations: The best way to reinforce positive behavior and decrease resentment is by expressing appreciation. We begin to focus on what is right in a relationship when we share what we like with our partner.
In Final Words
If your marriage is falling apart, these steps will provide you a clear path. You can also take the help of a professional therapist and get online Gottman Marriage Therapy sessions with your partner to strengthen your relationship.